I'm thinking of becoming straight... but I've got a few questions first

So I find myself downtown on one Saturday night after an evening of Cinco de Mayo wii-fest. This should not surprise you. I wasn't planning on going out so I was thoroughly enjoying said wii-fest until a girl called me. You can be surprised about this. She was going out after work to some show and I decided that I was going to go down and try and meet up with her.

Pecan Street Festival was going on so it was fairly crowded on 6th. I met up with Lisa and Michael who were gracious enough to accompany me while I waited for this girl. We started off at Buffalo Billiards which has gone significantly downhill ever since the Orbit Lounge remodeled and started charging 4 dollars for a 2 dollar vodka soda. No sign of the girl after a game of shuffle board, so after a drink we moved on to SoHo. Yeah you read that right.

So we're standing in SoHo which is suffocatingly packed at the entrance yet spacious in the back. There is a hardcore make-out session going on right behind us on the couches which everyone was enjoying. Let's stop there for a minute. I was previously at a friends house playing video games drinking margaritas, so I'm dressed in like a t-shirt, jeans and tennis shoes. I am not wearing cologne or even deodorant for that matter. I am hopelessly under-equipped to pickup a girl, which was my purpose, or a guy if I was so inclined. I'm drinking a Lone Star and enjoying a nice hetero-make-out session, when this chick comes over to me and asks, "Are you gay?" Now I've been known to screw with people who make bad assumptions and alcohol tends to increase this desire. So I end up meeting a friend of hers who is "A nice boy, but is too shy." I felt bad for the guy because here I was making him totally nervous by pretending to be gay and the chick that I was really trying to mess with wasn't even around. Anyway, I've got some advice for dudes out there looking to meet other dudes. SoHo is probably not the place for you, unless you want to drug some dudebras.

In the end I never met up with the girl, but I'm still thinking of becoming straight.